Callie: Hey who moved my surgery? Chief? Chief..?Miranda: Don't, just don't. He's a wreck. He's decintergrating before our very eyes. That's why men die earlier than women.
Callie: Mmmm, the boards a mess.
Miranda: He can't lose Shepherd. I mean, I'd go talk some sense into him but, I've got too much on my plate.
Callie: Have you tried calling him?
Miranda: About a hundred times.
Callie: No.... No... Oh you, you want me to go to the woods? No. Ah, I don't do woods. The woods are dirty, and there are many many bugs. What am I gonna say to the guy? I barely know him.
Miranda: You don't have to know him, you're both surgeons. You've been through the same war. Look, just remind him that we've all been there, we all came back.
Callie: You're kind of a bully, you know that?
Miranda: Wouldn't do it if it didn't work so well.
• Season 5, Episode 18: "Stand By Me" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Miranda: Ah Chief, I need to ask you something
Richard: Sloan, have you heard from Derek?
Mark: No.
Richard: Oh, I'm sorry. You were saying? Oh! Meredith!
Meredith: No, I don't know how he is. I've heard nothing. Nothing today, nothing yesterday, and nothing the day before that. And no, I will not go back out there.
• Season 5, Episode 18: "Stand By Me" • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Owen: Did you page me Dr. Bailey?
Miranda: Oh, yes, you finished with your part of the face transplant right?
Owen: Yup, but I cleared my schedule to watch Sloan and Dr. Yang do their surgery so whatever it is you need I hope it's not too time consuming
Miranda: That depends on how fast you can drive.... and talk.
Owen: I'm sorry?
Miranda: I need you to drive to the woods and talk Derek Shepherd into coming back here, and I believe you might also run into Callie Torres.
Owen: (stares blankly)
Miranda: ... with a flat tire, or a broken heal, or an axe wielding serial killer.
Owen: You serious?
• Season 5, Episode 18: "Stand By Me" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Miranda: I've lost Hunt and Torres, see I sent them to get Shepherd and ... never heard from them again ... I was trying to solve the Shepherd situation for you sir, but it appears that I somehow made it three times worse.
Richard: [stares]
Miranda: So I'm telling you and my next move I believe is that I'm gonna call the police because I'm half convinced that they're all dead ... on a spit ... with an one armed man turning them into shish kabob sir ... It's my mind it just goes there.
• Season 5, Episode 18: "Stand By Me" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Miranda: Do I look like a therapist?!
Richard: You asked!
• Season 5, Episode 18: "Stand By Me" • Rating: 8.5 / 10 • Permalink
Miranda: I am Dr. Bailey! I am better than fine.
• Season 5, Episode 16: "An Honest Mistake" • Rating: 9.5 / 10 • Permalink
Derek: If I stop this surgery, it's the same as me sticking this scalpel into his brain. Is that what you want?
Miranda: Yes. That's what I want.
• Season 5, Episode 13: "Stairway to Heaven" • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Miranda: Dr. Shepherd?
Derek: Dr. Bailey.
Miranda: I need you to stop. I need you to put down the scalpel. This man is trying to kill himself and, God forgive me, I need you to let him.
• Season 5, Episode 13: "Stairway to Heaven" • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Miranda: Page Shepherd!
Meredith: The patient doesn't want that.
Miranda: Oh really, he tell you that?
William: Yes, don't page him, he's terribly unpleasant.
• Season 5, Episode 13: "Stairway to Heaven" • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Bailey: Karev, go and get the machine.
Alex: What if it's already hooked up to somebody?
Arizona: If that somebody has more than 16 hours to live, then we'll unhook him.
• Season 5, Episode 13: "Stairway to Heaven" • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 235
